PENIS SERVICE & REPAIR
Half the population of the planet has a penis but not all owners are familiar with the operating instructions and maintenance requirements of their most prized piece of equipment. The following is a guide on how your equipment works and how to look after your valuables.
Equipment Check
| Penis | Average length and diameter
Flaccid =3.5 x 1.25 inches Erect = 5.1 x 1.6 inches |
Longest medically recorded erection 12 inches. | Average number of nocturnal erections: 5 | Caution: External factors can shrink a relaxed penis by 2 inches or more. Including cold weather, chilly baths or showers, sexual activity, exhaustion, excitement (non sexual), illness. |
| Testicles | Average length and width 1.4 x 1 inch | Temperature 94.6 degrees Fahrenheit | Caution: Testicles should be at a slightly cooler than normal body temperature. Hot baths and tight underwear can have an impact on sperm count & movement. | |
| Sperm | Average body's production 50,000 per minute/72 million per day | Number in ejaculate of average fertile man 200 to 600 million | Average swimming speed: 1 to 4 millimeters per minute. | Average life span once mature 1 month in you, 1-2 days in woman, 2 minutes on sheets. |
| Semen | Average volume of ejaculate: 0.5 to 1 teaspoon. | Chief ingredient: Fructose sugar | Average number of ejaculatory spurts: 3 to 10. | |
Breakdowns & Repairs
| Problems | Solutions |
Erections do not occur as quickly, nor are they as firm as they once were. |
This is more common than people think, especially in older models. Exercising regularly, eating well, avoiding smoking and limiting alcohol are all general preventative measures. There are also treatments you can take, namely Viagra, Cialis or Levitra that will give your engine a boost. It is important to also get a check up to rule out any conditions such as diabetes which affects blood flow. |
| Ejaculation happens way to fast. | Try strengthening your PC muscle with Kegel exercises. The PC is the muscle you use to stop urine flow and the same muscle that contracts for ejaculation, strengthening it will give you more control during sex. |
| Ejaculation isn't as forceful or as plentiful as it once was. | Such misfiring often occurs with older engines. In fact, with vintage models, ejaculation may not occur at all, although an orgasm is experienced. |
Essential Maintenance
| System Check | Periodic erections will occur whilst you're asleep, as will an occasional emission. Your privates are simply flushing themselves with fresh blood and oxygen to stay in optimum working condition. If you have a reasonable doubt this is happening, do the following test: Wrap some postage stamps from a roll firmly around the base of your penis and tape the ends together. The next morning, if the stamps are torn along the perforation, you've had an erection. |
| Self Check | Once a month after taking a warm bath or shower to relax the scrotum, you should gently roll each testicle between your fingers. It should be smooth and oval shaped, feeling kind of like a hard-boiled egg with out the shell. Compress it gently, searching for any hard areas or lumps that don't feel like the surrounding tissue. |
| Professional Check | Once your equipment reaches forty years old, have your prostate checked annually. This gland surrounds the urethra like a doughnut and, if left to enlarge, can reduce an older man's urine stream to a dribble. Prostate cancer is also a concern. Both of these problems can be avoided if detected early. |
